Reflection

We are nearing the end of another year, just 7 hours until we enter 2009.
I was reading through an old journal from my early high school years today; reflecting on days past. The people that were in my life have changed so much. I've lost some friends, gained new ones, and grown closer to some old ones. Everything is so different than it used to be. Life was good then, they were by far the most defining years of my life thus far; I became who I am during those 3 years. Sometimes I miss those days, and wish that I could go back and do things differently so that some things would still be the same.
But, as I was uploading pics from last nights get together, I saw just how happy we all were. I took a moment to reflect on, and appreciate the wonderful friends that I have now. Some I wish I saw more often, some I wish I was closer to, but all I love, and if my life hadn't gone just as it did, I wouldn't be friends with most.
I've thought so many times that I messed up, I didn't do it right, but if it hadn't been for those mistakes I proabally wouldn't have the same friends that I have now. The Lord really uses all things together for the good of those who love Him... and I couldn't find better friends if I tried.
So, as 2008 draws to a close, I look back, greatful to have been able to spend it with so many wonderful people, and looking forward to the memories we will have in this New Year!

Does Your Driving Show you're a Christian?

Tonight, on my way home from seeing the amazing Chrissi Culpepper sing at Night Sky, I found myself driving behind my neighbor. It was dark and he couldn't tell who was behind him, but I knew his car. As we went along he zipped down the road, and cut in front of a truck as he turned toward our street; it was startlingly close to distruction.
My first thought was, I wonder if he's a Christian, then I thought, his driving suggests that he's not. You see he lives about 12 doors down for me, and while I pass his house everyday, I've never actually met him, so I don't know. But, I started thinking what does my driving say about me? Does it reflect HIM? I know that sounds a little strange, but we're supposed to reflect Christ in everything we do, so what does everything we do say about us? Others are watching, what kind of Christ are we showing him? In the way that we talk, act, drive, smile, dress, spend our money, our time. It should all be a reflection of Him...

I like change, maybe I even have a bit of an addiction to it. I like to constantly be learning, changing, and working toward somthing, but, right now the Lord has called me to be paitent. He's doing somthing, I'm really not sure what, but I am super excited! Looking back over the last four years, I can see how He has prepared me guided me and used me for His purpose. I have done so many dumb things, and I have lacked faith, and haven't always trusted Him, but for some reason, He still used me. Now I am in a place that I never would have guessed I would be, not in a million years. I am blessed with the opportunity to not only lead high schoolers in worship, but to also teach them how to lead others. It's Amazing!

Christmas Musings

Two days until Christmas and I find myself remembering the Christmas' that have gone before. Christmas has always been a wonderful and joyous occasion in my family. Day's of celebration ensue, and family reunites from all sides of globe.
Recent years have not been as joyous, beginning in 2006 when my Pap died just before Christmas. Thinking back I barely even remember that year, it was so sad. Last year we were so caught up in getting things ready for and facilitating my aging family that we barely had time to enjoy the holiday. This year's been the worst though. My Grandpa passed away this year and this will be our first Christmas without him. On my Dad's side, my uncle has only a few more months left to live, my other grandpa, Papa as I call him (I have four sets of grandparent's if you're getting confused) is fading and this could easily be our last Christmas with him. Then there's my Nana who has Alzheimer's, which is so difficult for all of us, and so sad.
Being the youngest in my family had it's perks when I was little, but it's just hard now. All of my cousins have had my family for 30-47 years, then there's me, it's not fair that I got the short end because I was born 10 years to0 late.
All of the family difficulties have put such a strain on my parents, especially my father; he has aged more in the last year than he ever has. It's so hard to watch my parents change, and turn into elderly people. They've always been significantly older than other parents of kids my age, but they've never looked like it. Now, with all of the stress, they're starting to look and sometimes even act their ages.
It's hard to get into the Christmas spirit at times when these are the things weighing on my heart.
Life is changing, and sometimes I fear that I won't get to live my life because I'll be caring for my aging family, or even worse, I will be able to do whatever I chose because I won't have a family.
I know that the Lord is always there for me, He's guiding me and looking after me; I have nothing to fear, but I love my family and it's hard knowing life will never be the same again.

Car Blessings!

My car died! God's so awesome though. On Friday I got in my car heading to WSU and my battery light came on. I called my dad and told him that it came on and I was going to just drive around the block to see if it was ok first. It went off after a minute and I drove to school without any problems. On my way back from school however, the light came on again and it dinged 3 times about every 5 minutes or so. I was on my way to church, but decided that I should head home so my Dad could look at it first. After 5 minutes my Dad declared my car un-drivable. This morning when he tried to take it to the shop he made it to the end of the street and it died. he and my uncle had to push it off the road and call a tow truck:-( My poor little car! It had to be towed. After the mechanics looked it over they declared $1800 dollars in problems, and they hadn't even looked at the transmission yet, which I've been complaining about for months! Ahhh! I love my dear car and it's only 5 years old, this is so sad! But, the cool part is, my car should have died on me on the way to school Friday, but somehow I didn't have any problems (aside from the dinging noise:) all the way there and back...more than 40 miles. God is awesome!

Life is a Lesson

Life is a continious lesson. Some learn, some choose to ignore the truths they stumble across throughout their journey. I'm learning to view things differently, to step outside of my normal view of life. Not to see things are what they could be, but rather to see things for how amazing they already are. I'm learning to not look forward, but rather to be in the present, realizing that this moment is what I was created for; I'm not promised the next. God is doing something, and whatever He's doing is exciting and scary and wonderful. But it's not just something that's going to happen, it something that's already happening!
I haven't a clue what I'm doing, or where I'm going, I just know He's doing amazing things! I never would have guessed that He would have lead me to where I am now, but it's like He's been preparing me my whole life for such a time as this...but I've been saying that for a year. For such a time as this I was created...for each moment, each breath I breath, I was created for that moment; I'm learning to focus on that moment. He's got so much more to teach me and show me. I'm so humbled that He is using me, and growing and stretching me. It's an amazing feeling, and an exciting experience!
How unworthy and how unqualified I am without Him. He makes me so much more than I even dare to dream, He's never let me down and He never will.
I've learned that even when it seems that all has failed and all is lost God is there in the midst, He is still molding and shaping us. He is still growing us, and using us. He doesn't use us because of who we are, He uses us inspite of who were are. Even at our best we aren't even close to worthy of His use, yet He still uses us, still loves us, He still wants us.

What an honor it is to be called His child, to be loved by the God of the universes, the God of all!

Wintertime in Ohio

Hi! Blogging slightly scares me. You put things out there and they're just there... for people you may not even know ot see. Like I need another social networking device anyway, but I really like to write, so I think I'm going to give this a chance...longer than 2 weeks like before:-)

Story for the day...
I'm still rather traumatized by the events that transpired yesterday. If you're lucky enough to not live in Ohio during winter, we had icy rain yesterday that completely coated the streets in ice causing every car on the road to slide every which way.
My adventure was sliding through a stop sign onto a main road. Then realizing another car was sliding across the road, head on. I turned away from them and started sliding again toward a parked van, turned the other way and continued to swerve back and forth down a hill. I finally gained some control and pulled over. Every car on the road was sliding back and forth over the lines, and I was the only one going down the hill, I don’t know how one of them didn’t hit me, or vice versa.
After all I that I still thought I would try to get to church, so went home and asked my dad to drive me because I was shaking! We got about 5 blocks away and turned around because it was WAY too dangerous. Our little 5 block excursion took about 30 minutes! On the way back home a minivan turned a corner toward us and started sliding sideways, just before they were about to hit us they turned just a little and hit the car next to us instead. I was completely freaked by the time we got home, but so grateful that all of us made it home safely (my mom was trying to get home from across town)! Lovely Ohio winters.


Christmas Carol by an Ohioan...
I'm dreaming of a spring day, just like the ones I used to know. Where the tree tops blow, and chlidren know, they won't slide around on the ice. Oh, I'm dreaming of spring day, with every ice truck that I see. May your thoughts be cheery and bright, and may all your days be spring.